Sometimes life is complicated. It just is. But sometimes we make it WAY more complicated than it needs to be. Here are four ways to simplify your life, starting today!
For the last few years, I’ve been working to simplify. I haven’t made any drastic changes; I’ve just been taking little baby steps toward slowing down, living with more intention, and guarding my time more carefully. My desire to simplify came from feeling constantly overwhelmed, stressed, and distracted. I felt so darn busy all the time, but so many of things I was busy doing weren’t adding any real value to my life.
One by one, I started to examine the various aspects of my daily routine to see what I could simplify. Simplifying your life isn’t just about getting rid of excess stuff and paring down your schedule (although that helps). It’s making a series of little decisions every day about what is and isn’t worth your time, thoughts and energy.
4 Ways to Simplify Your Life
I pinpointed four major areas where I was making life more complicated than it needed to be. These are simple mindset shifts that will help you to find more time to breathe and make time for the things (and people) that matter most to you.
1) Don’t treat every free second like a chance to get something done.
Have you ever watched the show “Chopped” on the Food Network? (If you’re unfamiliar with the show, it’s a contest where chefs have a short period of time to make a dish out of random ingredients in a mystery basket.) One thing that the judges reiterate on “Chopped” is that the contestants should use every single second they have before the time runs out.
So if they’ve already plated their food and they have 10 seconds remaining on the clock, they should throw on a garnish, drizzle on a sauce, or make a tiny adjustment to their presentation. The contestants are often chastised if they finish early and just stand there (even if it’s only for 5 seconds) because they could have done more.
A lot of us run our lives the same way. We’re always trying to squeeze things in, do a little more, enhance, and improve. Being productive is a GREAT thing, but treating every ounce of spare time like a wasted minute is just asking for stress. We feel guilty if we’re done with our daily “to do’s“ with time to spare, and so instead of relaxing a little bit we look around for something else to do. And then we wonder why we’re so tired, unable to focus, and miserable.
We have voice-activated devices, microwaves, drive-throughs, dishwashers, smart phones, and computers. We can pay our bills with a few clicks, order anything we need from the couch, and use apps to help us avoid traffic. But all of that convenience and “time saving” doesn’t mean anything if we just fill up every spare second it affords us.
When cars start driving themselves, people aren’t going to relax more — they’ll just start doing more work from the car. The cycle will never stop unless you make a conscious effort to stop it yourself. It doesn’t mean lying around all day and doing nothing; it just means resisting the idea that you need to constantly be doing, and getting comfortable with the idea of a few spare moments in your day.
2) Don’t give yourself too many choices.
I’m a researcher by nature. Before making a purchase or any type of decision, I used to comb the internet for resources, reviews, and ratings. All of that research was necessary when a big decision was at stake — a job, a house, a car, or a school for the kids. But I started to notice how much time I would dedicate to fairly insignificant purchases or decisions.
Have you ever heard the term “decision fatigue?” I read about it a few years ago, and it really makes a lot of sense. The more decisions you need to make in a day, the more your decision-making abilities start to deteriorate.
So if I’m spending each day comparing/contrasting toothpaste brands, wondering if the concealer I chose at Sephora is “the best,” and trying to choose between eight different taco recipes for dinner, I’m just setting myself up for a crash later on. I’ll be much more likely to say, “Sure, eat a whole bag of chips!” when the kids come home hungry from school.
Taking more of a “grab and go” approach instead of overanalyzing some of my daily choices has definitely freed up some of my time and mental energy. When I’m pressed for time, I no longer feel compelled to agonize over small decisions. I’m getting better at saying “no” when that urge to over-research starts in, and focusing on making a good decision instead of “the absolute best” decision when there’s really not much at stake.
3) Don’t constantly change things up.
When my husband and I had the chance to visit Italy a few years ago, we were struck by how, well, Italian the food was. No matter which cafe we wandered into in the morning, the breakfast offerings were the same (usually hard rolls, cured meats and coffee). Dinner every night was either pasta or fish, and some sort of meat/cheese platter. It was clear that they had a specific cuisine and nobody felt the need to deviate from it very often.
Contrast that to our house, where on any given morning our breakfast could include oatmeal, cereal, muffins, scrambled eggs, fried eggs, bagels, pancakes, waffles, smoothies, bacon, sausage, fruit, frittata, english muffins, or hash browns. Dinner could be Mediterranean kabobs, Thai curry, tacos, fried rice, or salmon cakes.
There’s nothing wrong with mixing things up in the kitchen — most of the time I love it! But if you’re looking to simplify your life, there’s also nothing wrong with serving pasta every night for a week. Sometimes I need to just pull back the reigns and tell myself it’s OK to be a little boring, or to feed the girls the same breakfast five mornings in a row. We will all survive!
It’s not just about food; this can apply to so many areas of our lives, from thinking we need a new outfit for each occasion to thinking we need to wear our hair differently every other day. If you find a good gift for a kid’s birthday party, buy 10 of them and stash them in a closet. If you find a pair of shorts you like, buy three pairs in different colors. You’ll find you have a lot more space in your brain and in your day.
4) Don’t always opt for “bells and whistles.”
When we moved into our current rental home, which was built in the 1960’s, there were a few things that took some getting used to. One of the biggest things we lamented was the fact that our refrigerator didn’t have a water dispenser/ice maker.
I know that this is not a real problem, but after having those things for so many years, it felt strange not to have them. I can’t tell you how many times I absentmindedly pushed my glass into the front of the fridge before I realized there was nothing there.
But a funny thing happened over time. We grew to love our old school ice cube trays. My husband and I were talking one night about how our old ice machine used to break or malfunction fairly regularly. Ice cube trays never break! The more I thought about some of the so-called conveniences we’d lost in moving from a newer home to an older one, the more I realized that not having lots of bells and whistles in our home meant there was a lot less to a) figure out, and b) fix.
We’re trained to always look for the newest and most innovative, but bells and whistles can add a lot of unnecessary complications to our lives. A lot of times, all of the “features” that come with homes, appliances, cars, phones, and other electronics actually make our lives more complicated instead of easier.
Before you upgrade your phone or download that app or buy that state-of-the-art whatever, ask yourself if the “bells and whistles” are actually going to simplify your life, or if it’s just one more thing that will need to be maintained, repaired, and figured out. Simple is GOOD!
I’d love to hear from y’all about what over-complicates your life, and any steps you’ve taken (or want to take) to simplify. Please share in the comments!
Rachel says
I’ve been saying that about bells and whistles for years: “It’s just one more thing that can break.” Haha! I’m so glad I’m not the only one who feels the same way! I really enjoyed this post. Thank you. 🙂
Alyssa says
You’re welcome! Thanks for taking the time to comment, Rachel
Aminta Demadura says
This article definitely hit home for me. I’m most guilty of the first one- trying to use every free second for something productive. It can get stressful if you don’t catch yourself! Lately I’ve been reading a lot about minimalism, because I think it is effective not only for our physical belongings but also for our minds. Simplifying and paring down is a powerful way to feel more energetic, more motivated, and more in control.
Theresa says
Your article is amazing! I can’t thank you enough. I’ve done this stuff all my life. In the 60’s when it was multi-tasking every minute. It carried it through my life! It has affected my health. I wish I had read something like this when I was young.
After reading your article it clicked. I have gotten to the point now I’m finding it hard to sort out the simplest decisions. Now I know why. I thought it was getting older, I’m 69. I’m still in that fast lane. Things are about to change.
Thank you so much. Keeping doing what you do, it will be life changing to others as well.
Alyssa says
Thank you so much for your comment, Theresa! I’m so glad this post resonated with you. I need to re-read it myself from time to time because it’s very easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of daily life.
Robbie @ Use Resources Wisely says
I like the idea of smaller stores. Buying in bulk helps me too. I grab oatmeal, not worrying about whether this price is better than that, as bulk usually beats them all!
Alyssa says
That’s true. I don’t have a lot of storage, but if I did I would definitely buy more of my favorites in bulk.
Liz says
Glad to know I’m not the only one who feels like this most of the time! Single mom of two…work full time and also another job to supplement my income. Decision fatigue is a daily problem. It took me 10 minutes to pick out toothpaste the other night at CVS! Too many choices! And definitely suffer from feeling compelled to fill all my time getting “stuff” done around the house. I need to take it a bit more easy tomorrow! Glad I happened upon this on Pinterest.
Alyssa says
Yes, simple things like buying toothpaste can be totally overwhelming! There are so many factors to consider…price, ingredients, taste, brands, etc. 🙂 The older I get, the more I just stick to what I know & like without so much investigating and comparing. But it’s a process. I’m so glad you enjoyed the post! XO
Christine says
This article is great! After having surgery and being laid up for 6 weeks, it has been very hard to just relax. I have also found that I need to limit my choices on things as well. I find that I get into decision paralysis if presented with too many options. I do some research and make a choice and then don’t go back on it. I get upset when people present me with more options after my decision has been made. Even simple things like, the family has decided what to have for dinner and then bring up more options. The comment about the grocery store made me smile, because I always choose to go to a smaller grocery store, so I can just buy what I need and not have to decide between 5 varieties of oatmeal.
Alyssa says
Thanks so much for commenting, Christine! I totally agree about the smaller stores. Even though the merchandise at smaller grocery stores or boutiques tends to be more expensive, I feel so much calmer when I have fewer choices.
Trish W. says
From psychological studies, multitasking may seem efficient on the surface but might actually take more time in the end and involve more error. It’s really the opposite of approaching tasks with mindfulness, and the constant mental juggling adds to overall stress level. The compulsion towards busy-ness can also be an avoidance tactic – if someone seeks to be constantly occupied and always seems tired, it might be because they’re not examining issues that cause emotional discomfort. Too many choices and needing to “always change things up” might be FOMO or being afraid to make a mistake. It’s good to take the time to distinguish the true difference between needs and wants… which includes both material possessions and mental/emotional aspects of life. I agree with the commenter who mentioned sometimes just saying no. That the concept of minimalism is coming more to the forefront says something about the misguided glorification of busy-ness 🙂
Maria Harper says
Go for a walk/run with the dog if you have one, rather than going to the gym to run on a treadmill. especially if you live in a rural/green area.
Kelly says
I’ve always felt I needed to fill every blank space on the wall, every corner of a room. Since we moved into what amounts to a tiny house I’m finding that I don’t NEED all that STUFF.
My husband and I moved from a two bedroom apartment to this small place. I thought I had down sized a lot, only to find I had to get rid of half of that. At first sad then realized it is only stuff.
The hardest thing to get rid of or put away are family things. It’s surprising how much we collect picture, nic-nacs and sentimental things.
Time to down size again and to realize I don’t have to fill everything including time.
Alyssa says
I hear you, Kelly. I feel like I’ve gotten rid of SO much, but there’s still a lot of stuff around. It’s a work in progress, but the more I get rid of, the better I feel and the less there is to take care of, clean, etc. We don’t live a spartan existence by any means, but I’m really adopting the “less is more” mantra.
Leen says
Great article! Most of the timey head is filled with so many chores I need to do that I just get overwhelmed and do absolutely nothing.
Alyssa says
Thanks, Leen! Yep, having too much to do makes me feel like doing nothing at all. I feel so much more motivated and focused when I pare down my “to do’s.”
Jennifer says
Juggling as a single mom of four girls (none with licenses, yet) and in college classes myself, I need to learn the big “no!” which wasn’t covered here…but I love the ideas that were covered. Like cooking issues…we could totally use an overhaul there! 😉
Thank you for your post! 😀
Alyssa says
Thanks for your comment, Jennifer! I’m sure I’ll be in the same boat in a few years with my girls. Right now their schedules are manageable, but as they get older and want to add more activities, etc. it’s going to be tough to maintain a reasonable schedule that gives us enough downtime.
Tracey says
yikes! I am guilty of all but the last one… as I am not techy.
But the first one I need to print out and read daily! My kids are thrilled when I “just” watch TV, not glance at it while sorting papers, cleaning the kitchen, crafting or anything i can think of to do so I don’t feel guilty wasting time by watching TV! Yes, I am a hot mess!
Alyssa says
That’s the toughest one for me, too! I am slowly breaking my addiction to multi-tasking. Smart phones make it tough, too. I need to learn that every spare second doesn’t mean I should check my email, etc.
Aarti says
Thank you for the article. Totally relate to it and I read this one at perfect timing.
Alyssa says
I love perfect timing. Thank you for commenting, Aarti!
Alicia says
Yes, this is me. I always wish for just one more hour in the day to get stuff done. Even if I had that extra hour I would fill it with stuff and then need yet another one. Its a vicious cycle. Great tips here. Thanks for sharing.
Alyssa says
It’s totally a vicious cycle. I realized that no matter how many things I take off my plate, it’ll never stay clear if I just fill it back up with different stuff! I’m glad you enjoyed the post. 🙂
Sarah says
Amazing post! Got me thinking how i tend to overcomplicate stuff and how relaxed I should b instead of stressing out! Thank u for making me realize this!
Alyssa says
You’re welcome, Sarah! Thanks for your comment. 🙂
Kristal says
Great post, number 1 is the hardest for me, anytime I have some time unexpectedly freed up, I fill it back up 🙁 Thanks for the tips
Monk says
That photo of the woman with the cords cracked me up, because that is EXACTLY how I feel so often! This is really wise advice, and I’m going to try to use it to my benefit. Have you ever heard about the two personality types, “satisficer” and “optimizer”? I think you are an optimizer at heart! I live with an optimizer so I know how easy it is to get into the research rabbit-hole.
Alyssa says
Now I’m going to have to go and research those terms!! hahaha. The other day I was eavesdropping on a woman who’d just returned home from living in Russia for a few years, and she said she was just completely overwhelmed by all the choices here after being over there. She said she had to leave the grocery store because it was just TOO MUCH. Definitely gave me perspective. That picture cracks me up, too…I figured lots of people could relate to her. 🙂
Susan Deaven says
Truer words were never said. Well done! I have really been trying to adopt my sister’s approach to life which is just what you wrote about. We are getting to the age where we’re so much more grateful for simple things!
Alyssa says
Yes, there are definitely perks to getting older and (hopefully) wiser! 🙂 XO